Deep underwater 

The sound of blood in my ears 

Everything is blurred

Under the surface 

Suspended in warm saline

Where I lost myself 

The cool autumn lakes

Dry leaves skip on dusty paths

Where do we go now?

The stars drift apart

As the universe expands

And we like them part

Into the darkness 

The long lonely lightless times

And all this distance 

The low sickle moon

Hanging above harvest fields 

An alchemist’s dream 

Hanging from tree tops

Above the slow grey water

My life in my hands

If this was the edge 

Would I take a step backwards? 

You know I would jump

In scattered rain clouds 

The separated sunlight 

Splits into spectra 

A single pine tree

A raft floating in the sea

A lonely island

The music I played

Even the trees I planted

They all fade away 

A bee without stripes

A ladybird without spots

I am the square peg

Disconnected from

This everyday grey disguise 

Where do I belong? 

I miss the mountains 

I miss being someone else 

I miss not missing 

Still paying the price 

Of all the stupid mistakes 

I can’t untangle 

Autumn oak leaf green

Soft against yellow stubble 

Coming in to land 

So we’re torn apart

Like fields of endless clouds that

Burn while the sun dies

The bridges we burned

Other paths we didn’t take 

And the lakes we lost

Artificial light

Draining the life from my soul

An empty dream hole

Like silver woodlice

That roll up into a ball

Every time I touch

In windowless rooms

Drowning in your blurry eyes

And double vision 

Rooted and grounded 

Clouds hang on the lonely mount

And there is no end

Under the mountain 

In the gravel and the shale

Lie dry broken bones